The other day, I posted about how this year, I resolve to make myself happy. I still intend to do just that. I'm just already beginning to wonder about the price of my own happiness.
The other night. I had the rare opportunity to go out with a friend I rarely see. He's been my best friend since high school, so needless to say, I jumped at the opportunity. He was going to be at a local bar (by local, I mean local for HIM, it was about 45 minutes away for me.) celebrating his anniversary with his wife. I gingerly brought up the invitation to attend with my husband. He's not much of a people person, and when it comes to people he doesn't know well, he's REALLY not much of a people person. I, however, really wanted to go. I asked the hubs if he would want to go, and he stated he wasn't feeling well and wasn't sure. I was terrified to do it, because I'm never sure how he's going to react to such things, but, damnit, I WANTED TO GO, so I asked if he would mind if I went without him. During our initial text conversation, he stated he didn't mind if I went. Later that night, I asked if he was feeling better. He stated he was not. I asked if he wanted to go and see my friend with me. He stated he did not. I asked, again, if he would mind if I went without him. He SAID he didn't care. I got the impression, however, that he did. We had gone to dinner with my folks and my brother and his family, which was another disaster I won't get into right now, and afterwards, we were taking Katie to my in-laws. He didn't speak to either of us hardly the entire way to my in-laws. Then, after we left there, he didn't speak to me at all except to answer my questions with one word answers. After about three or four questions, I gave up and rode back to our house in silence. I got ready to leave, and went to tell him goodbye. He barely looked at me, barely spoke, hardly touched me. I stood outside with him, while we let the dogs out. I stood in silence. Then I left. I got home around 3:15 in the morning. I had fun while I was out. I had a great time with my best friend. I was happy. The hubs got up when I came home and didn't even acknowledge me.
I keep telling myself that it was because he wasn't feeling well and, that when I came home, he was half asleep.
Is this kind of reaction from my husband really worth me going out and doing things I want to do just to be happy?